Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Some days are really bloody hard. A zero day after I had 3 previous zero days, it's harder. A zero day, after previously having 3 days of zero, and being on your period, and exploring new unexpected feelings is harder! What the blip?! Basically today was very difficult for me. I'm struggling with a lot of things, but most just a few that are holding me back in my selling abilities.

I think I have a pretty good grasp on who I am. I am a sassy, flirty, fun, happy, extrovertive, creative, cheery, friendly, spontaneous, spunky, opinionated, nice person. I am cute, and I am young. I am not pushy. Sassy yes, pushy? Maybe sometimes. But I am having a very hard time finding a balance. I need to not take people's crap with me when I leave their doorstep. I need to know that they will never see me again, so I can push just a little more. Instead of being timid and pushing less. You can push and teach and guide and lead someone to a conversation that they didn't originally intend to have, without being rude and 'pushy'.     >Hence my struggle. I need to find a way to keep the fire and burn and motivation I came out here with. I need to just let go and push through each day and meet my goals.

There is a guy out here. I won't say too much. But I like him. I am pulled to him in a semi-gravitational manner that I'm not familiar with. It's not really a twitter-pation persay, but I am drawn to being around him and getting to know him and liking him more and more with everything he says. I think I'll let things go where they go and hopefully it's a happy place full of rainbows and roses. :) When things are more certain and a little less fresh I'll share more.

I would like to reiterate in a slightly very pathetic way, that this job is hard and it's so easy to get down. If anyone ever needs any reason to be a good saint and earn brownie points for heaven... I'm giving you a great opportunity. Send me a sweet message, or letter (tangible things are always more exciting!) or you can send me goodies. :) or pictures or whatever else you may have the notion too. Really this is a pitiful attempt to invoke 'pity' and receive presents to lighten my days. :) -> If I have been successful, please refer to the address below.

14956 Scholls Ferry Road J301
Beaverton Oregon 97007

I love you all and am missing Utah. (Of course, as if I ever couldn't?!)
Good Night.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

I'm only going to take a short time to write a blip of apology. I am here in Portland now, and despite the best of intentions, time flies by and the days are long, and I have very little motivation to post. Good day or bad day. I will try to keep up on some of our team outings and stats over the summer. And when I have a really good story to tell I will. Else wise I am sorry, it will be limited to facebook statuses for a while. I will always link when I do write something significant so you'll still be aware of it. :) I love you all. I appreciate all the love and support. I will even post my address if anyone is interested in sending... goodies. Words of kindness and support are always welcome and treats of a delicious nature are especially comforting!!

14956 Scholls Ferry Road J301
Beaverton Oregon 97007

:D

Monday, May 2, 2011

The Long Farewell

I apologize that I haven't continued my daily farewell.
Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were pretty packed, and I was packing. 
And then I was gone.
Thursday Chase took my sisters and I riding for part of their Christmas present.
We rode his horse Blaze, and he is riding L.C. (Derk's horse)
I already posted the photos to FB cause it was quicker. 
Here are a couple favorites though.

I really like this one!

"This is what horses say, 'brgh ghghg'..." ?!

Now, if you're driving a team hold the reigns like this...

Silly Chase, we're not driving a team.

I luf her!

Hope rode Blaze just fine, but wanted more horse time while the others took turns,
Chase was very nice to ride with her.

Nanna wanted to lead Blaze for a bit first. Build trust, or something.
It's true he was a very large horse. But I thought he was fantastic.

What do you think? Are we related?

Oh. We. Are. Silly.
!!