Friday, February 25, 2011

I'm curious. Why is it so much harder to accept something difficult when you realize it's an internal struggle? With this whole sleep issue for example; it'd be really nice to just get a prescription or by some muscle relaxants or run 5 miles and take a hot shower and then go to bed and sleep sound. I've been looking for any and every option to externally deal with this. When perhaps it's internal. I have fears and sources of insecurities that I thought I'd moved on from long ago. It's really difficult for me to recognize that it may all be built up and compounded and finally manifesting. I could take something to knock me out and get some sleep. But that only means I'm acknowledging a fear and just treating the symptom not curing the problem. It's scary and it's hard. I keep remembering a scripture, 'I will go before your face, I will be on your right hand and on your left, mine angels will surround you and will bare you up.' Something like that. I just think of that keep going. One day at a time, one night at a time.

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