Sunday, January 30, 2011

It'd be so much easier if...

I wrote a while ago about the choice I made not to take a pell grant or federal aid for my education. I felt an urgency to start school this semester and in order to do so, I got a co-signed bank loan. I opted out of a student loan because under Obama all student loans, no matter if they are through the school or a private bank, are monitored and approved through FAFSA. This is an abomination. That a student can no longer enter into a private contract with a private bank without permission from the government is disgusting.

As a result of my choices my life has certainly not become easier. I now have a $68/month loan payment. I have a $200/month car payment. And other obligations. I am living with my grandparents to be close to school, and I help out my Grandmother in exchange for the room.

Friday, I was on my way to pick up my expectedly small paycheck, my dad called me and let me know that we had gone over minutes on our phone bill and I was mostly responsible. It was an oversight on my part that I'd used them and I blame no one but it was poor timing, and I feeling very down on my luck. As I was driving I had a thought hit me. A bitter little nugget of misery from only the Devil himself. It'd be so much easier right now if I'd just taken the money. I would have $2700 dollars if not more (that is what my brother received and his work position is better than mine) and it would be so much easier.

That was not a good thought. I got to work to pick up my check and I had a little melt down. I was just overwhelmed. Because of this stupid principle that I chose to acknowledge, life is really really hard right now, and simply ignoring the truth and taking the money would make it easier. It was a tough night. I ended up going to talk to a friend and then we watched a couple movies to distract me.

Saturday I did my best to take care of my responsibilities, and I still am not able to make my car payment this month. I spent the evening with some close friends and watched their beautiful children. It was comforting to serve them and absorb the little faces and the innocence.

This morning I woke up, in an exceptionally good mood I might add, and went to church. Normally I take my scriptures, a pen, and my journal. Today I left my journal in my car and just took a little notebook in, in case I wanted to take any quotes. Half way into our meeting I felt that I should get my journal. I didn't particularly think I wanted to write much, but I went out to get it and came back in. I started to right about my situation. It read very similar to the first 5 paragraphs you have read. And then as I wrote, "I know what I know, and I know that God knows what I know, and I cannot deny it." I was not overwhelmed but perhaps overcome with gratitude. It occurred to me how incredibly lucky I am to have this trail and testimony. To experience a conviction of principle so strong that I cannot see a way around it.

I have always had a testimony of sorts. I do believe that if I obey God's commandments I can be blessed. I have never been tried in my resolve.
I am so grateful that I can recognize this situation in a different light. I have a firm conviction of what is right for me to do in the principle that I understand. It is so firm that I cannot bend it for whatever convenience I may perceive. It is such a awe-full feeling. I paid my tithing today. I am very blessed. I am very poor. I know that the fifteen dollars I gave to the Lord would not make or break me anymore than I feel now. But the Lord can give me more than that fifteen dollars could. Easily. 


My situation has not become any more comfortable in the last 24 hours. But I am no longer bitter. I am so very grateful that I have a testimony in the firmness of my convictions. A conviction so powerful it cannot be reasoned to be broken. I am grateful for it and I strive to feel it again in other aspects of my testimony.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Crime -Redrafted

Does the over abundance of freedom limiting laws create crime?
     There are people who believe that men have it in their nature to commit crime, and therefore it is necessary to write laws. Still others believe that with or without crime we cannot have order without laws. I believe there are Nature’s laws; having natural, expected, and accepted consequences. Then there are Man’s laws; a lot of them. Does the unnecessary writing of these freedom limiting laws create crime?
     On the one hand, it is argued that people do bad things. We see the result of these poor choices, it scares us, and so we call it a crime. Well, if it is a crime, let’s create a law that will define it as criminal action and therefore give it a consequence. By giving it a known punishment, we create a sense of security. We sleep better at night knowing we have created a threat against these actions.
     For example, we see a case in which someone was under the influence of an ‘illegal’ drug, a fight broke out, and accident occurred, and a life was lost. As a society we have a tendency to not only blame the individual accountable, but we also blame the drug. The loss of life is a tragedy, so we instate a law that prohibits use of that drug, instead of just punishing the individual responsible for the accident. We do not gain anything by blaming the substance; unless perhaps, a false sense of security that under threat of law it may not happen again.
            We currently see an increase of ‘crime’ in relation to the war on drugs. Suppose we didn’t create those laws that prohibit the trading, marketing and use of those substances, and instead punished only the individual that infringes on another individual’s life, liberty, and property. That way whether they are “under-the-influence” or not, we hold persons accountable for their harmful actions against another. Would we see a decrease in the theft, smuggling, blackmail, rape, and murders that are related to the “illegal” drug trade? Would we see increased caution and consideration when people choose to use such harmful substances just as already engage in drinking alcohol, and smoking cigarettes?
     Let me give you a scenario. In the United States alone, an average 146 billion cups of coffee are consumed in one year. Morning, noon, and night this mug of brewed-bean juice is savored and relied on. What if we declared coffee as an addictive substance that may cause people to act in an unnatural way? i.e. cheerful and alert at seven am. So we create a law that prohibits the consuming of coffee beans in any form. Do you see millions of people suddenly curbing the craving and conforming to the “law”? Or do we now have millions of coffee lovers that are now committing a crime according to the definition of the new law? The act of drinking coffee is not criminal nor does it have malicious intent. But that mad-made collection of words that we call “law” has created a crime, and millions of criminals. I daren’t say what these brewed-bean-loving dependants will do to satisfy that craving. Heaven forbid they break the law.
     Scary things happen in the world, and out of fear we want to place blame. If we can determine a cause (valid or not) and create a threat under force of law against that cause, we feel we have the power. We’ve created security. We have been doing this for hundreds of years, in cultures around the world. And we see more and more crime. Do these laws truly protect us? Or does the over abundance of freedom limiting laws create crime?

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Crime

Crime
     There are people who believe that men create crime. Still others insist it is in mans nature to commit crimes therefore we create laws. I say it is neither. I believe that there are Nature’s laws, having natural expected and accepted consequences. Then there are man’s laws. And I believe that crime does not create the need for laws, but that the unnecessary writing of freedom limiting laws creates crime.
     On the one hand, it is argued that people are doing bad things. We see the result of these poor choices, it scares us, and so we call it a crime. Well if it is a crime, let’s create a law that will define it as a criminal action and therefore give it a consequence, a punishment and we will sleep better at night feeling that we have created a threat against these actions we believe we have gained a level of security.
     For example, we see a case in which someone was under the influence of an ‘illegal’ drug, a fight broke out, an accident occurred, and a life was lost. We do not only hold the individual responsible, but we have a tendency to blame the drug. The loss of life is a tragedy, so we instate a law that prohibits use of the drug, instead of just punishing the individual for their part in the accident. Now we have a law that created a crime. I disagree. Law or no law, for everyone one individual that commits a crime while under the influence of such a drug, there are twenty more people doping up on the same drug, having a grand stupid time hurting themselves but no accidents occur.
   We currently see an increase of crime in relation to the war on drugs. I’d like to submit a new perspective. Suppose we didn’t create the laws that say cocaine, heroin etc… is illegal, and instead we prosecuted only the infringement of life, liberty and property. Then whether or not someone is under the influence of drugs we hold individuals accountable for their actions against another. What I see is a bunch of self-destructive individuals who will still do their drugs, but will no longer; steal, smuggle, rape, black-mail, shoot, and murder to obtain their self-destructive substances. I believe they would be smarter about where, when and with who they would engage in these activities with, just as anyone who drinks alcoholic beverages and smokes cigarettes do now.
     From yet another perspective; currently there are millions of people who drink coffee. In the morning, noon, and night they consume this warm beverage of brewed beans. What if we decide that coffee is an addictive substance and it may cause people to act in an unnatural way, i.e. cheerful and alert at 7 am. We create a law that prohibits the consumption of coffee beans in any form. Do you see millions of people suddenly curbing the craving and conforming to the ‘law’? I don’t. I see millions of people committing a crime by definition of the law. The act of drinking coffee is not criminal. There is no infringement upon the life, liberty or property of others by drinking you coffee. But that man-made collection of words that we call ‘law’ has created a crime, and millions of criminals. And who knows what these, brewed-bean-loving dependants will do to satisfy that craving!!
   I do not believe that crime creates law. I believe that man deciding (out of fear) to label actions outside of the actual infringement of life, liberty, and property as criminal behavior; therefore creating laws that limit our freedom to act, creates crime. And the only way to slow the outbreak of these so-called crimes is to go back to punishing the individual for actions against another that infringe on life, liberty, and property!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Update!

I started school this week!! Yay! It's been too long. Or maybe just long enough. At least, I wanted it bad enough I found a way to go, without compromising my feelings on government aid and grants. I ended up finding a private cosigner for a loan. And was able to pay my tuition in cash. I have very low payments and low interest, and I'm expecting to pay in full much sooner than the 4 years I have it on a plan for. I'm grateful that I can take responsibilities for my own schooling and not hold anyone else accountable for my debts. :D
I am taking 4 classes for a total of 14 credits. And I am so far signed up to attend 2 institute of religion classes, 2 days a week.

I'm taking English 1010, Spanish 1010, Math 990, and Survey of World Geography. I am excited for all the classes, even math. I haven't been in a math class since tenth grade, 4 years ago. I'm ready to tackle my enemy head on this time!

I'm grateful I have the priviledge and opportunity to go to school. And I look forward to the learning, and meeting new people! Hurray for college!