Ellie

I'm sitting at my parents house soaking up my sabbath. It's chilly outside. There is snow on the ground. And it's nice and peaceful. As I try to focus on my math homework I am distracted by my sweet baby Ellie.

I got Ellie on February 1st, 2007. 

I'd been trying to heal and move on since Sam -5 months old- died 4 months prior. I'd had another rough night, tossing to and fro dreams that just reinforced my emptiness. I wasn't looking to replace Sam, but I really just needed a new focus. I saw an add for a liter of 5 white kittens at Petsmart online before school, and Mom picked me up to look at them that afternoon. 

There was one kitty left. She was all white and desperate for attention. I started to play with her through the cage, and it wasn't but a few moments before I realized she was deaf. I told mom so, and she didn't believe me. I showed her how her response was only when she could see your movements and that no noises startled her. I knew she was deaf, and I knew she was mine.

Ellie has been such a hoot over the years. She has an amazing depth perception in compensation for her inability to hear. She is the only cat at our house that perceives shadows, and loves to play with the laser light. I can get her to jump a good 6-7' up the wall just trying to catch the light. And she'll run in circles longer than any dog. On one of my birthday's I had a balloon bouquet and she seemed startled by them. Peter had the brilliant idea to chase her with them and she's been paranoid and cautious about things above her head since. 

Ellie often wakes up from a nap with a loud 'mreow' and won't calm until she sees she is not alone. In my moving on and out and upward with my life, my Mommy has taken such wonderful care of her. She has a nice warm spot in the garage, and most nights my sister let's her sleep in her room.

Odds are, I won't be able to live with my baby for a long time. It creates quite a strain in my relationship with my Dad, cause he sure doesn't love her as much as Mom, Savannah or me. This is hard, and I choose to deal with the reality only every now and again cause as yet I don't know what to do.

I love Ellie, she is such an odd ball and such a joy. Through all her quirks I'm sure I am a little better prepared to have my real babies, and deal with all the joy and stress and triumphs and pitfalls of real motherhood. Some will say she's just a cat, other's say she's just a pet. To me Ellie is one of my best friends, my baby, and a loyal confidant. I love her so much, and right now I am just grateful she remembers me and will sit in my lap as long as I ask.

 Ellie has made more than a couple trips with me to work at Grandpa's Garden Center. She has her harness and collar on, and she just hangs out with me. Our other favorite place is the duck pond.

Ellie has always loved sleeping in 'nest' like areas. She likes the clothes baskets. The fake trees. The sink even. It was a lot more difficult to find her when she was a smaller and sleeping sound. Most days we'd just have to wait for her to come out of a hole somewhere. :)