55 mph

So I've been thinking lately. (I know I know, that's new) I've been thinking big important things.

Things about school, money, boys, a boy, summer, friends, a friend, school, tooth, root canal, tooth ache, money, job, etc etc... In circles I go.

I'm feeling tied down again. I have people all around me expecting me to do things. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but I want to do things for me. And the more people expect me to do it, the more I resent it, even if it's a choice I normally might make.

In talking about this with a good friend I made an analogy. A rather good one I might add. It goes like this.

I am a good driver. But I generally resent speed limits. I don't really care to be driving fast, but I find myself speeding more often than not. Except, at night. I will be on my way home late, and the road is fairly empty. And I find myself perfectly content going 55 mph. Weird and out of character maybe. Until someone gets in front of me. I really really don't mind going the speed limit when it's my choice; even if it's something I was content doing before, suddenly when it is someone else holding me back, I feel very tied down/restricted.

I think that's how I am in life. I like to do lots of different things. I like to get excited about new things. I like doing things just to prove to myself or others that I can or will. I like to change my mind, and change it again. I can't do that so freely when people all around me are expecting me to do something; even if it'something I started or committed to, I want the freedom to do something else.

Summer, Portland, Pest Control, and Freedom are just a few weeks away.

After this summer, who knows what I'll be onto next but I'm pretty sure I know what it won't be.... :)